Scathing Critiques of Beloved Children's Books: The Railway Series

Most of you are probably more familiar with the name of the associated TV series, Thomas the Tank Engine (or Thomas and Friends, or whatever.  I haven't seen it, but I gather they've changed the name several times).  However, that show was originally based on The Railway Series by Rev. W. Awdry.

The series itself is about a bunch of trains on the fictional island of Sodor, which is wedged in between England and the Isle of Man.  The trains run about carrying passengers, goods, etc.  Given that they're trains, and doing real work, you'd think that this would be something good for kids to read.

You'd think.

The vast majority of the trains, Thomas included, are actually kind of jerks.  They constantly call each other names, make fun of each other (and are sometimes downright cruel), disobey instructions, whine about doing their assigned work, and then do it poorly, get inflated opinions of themselves, don't think through their actions beforehand, and get into (generally self-inflicted) trouble.  In other words, they're all basically small children, with the obnoxiousness of Harry Potter in Order of the Phoenix.

(I haven't watched any of the episodes of the TV series, but Emily has, and she tells me that they're even worse in the show, especially the newer episodes.)

While the coaches (passenger cars) are generally well-behaved unless mistreated, the trucks (boxcars, hopper cars, etc.) are constantly being deliberately difficult, playing tricks on the engines and actually trying to hurt them at times.

The passengers aren't any better: they're rude, entitled whingers who are constantly complaining to anyone who will listen the first time anything goes wrong that it's a Bad Railway.  Even Kieran has felt the need to stick up for the Railway against the passengers on occasion while reading these books.

Thomas is one of the worst, which is unfortunate, given that he seems to be the most popular, and that he's the namesake of the series.  He's smug, stuck-up, and self-important.  He treats most of the other engines fairly poorly, and doesn't follow directions, including instructions not to go certain places.  But in a move George Lucas surely would have been proud of, the publisher insisted that the series focus more on Thomas, despite that clearly not being the original intent (he's not even in the first book).  Because he was small and cute, or something like that.  As if that means anything.

You know who the series should be named after?

Edward.

Because Edward is a freaking saint.

Edward is well-behaved.  He's unfailingly polite to all of the other engines and the passengers.  He's always happy to do his assigned work to the best of his ability, and is willing to take on extra work if needed by the railway.  He's not the biggest engine, which means he gets dismissed by many as not as useful, but he tries hard, doesn't complain, and in general is everything that we should want our kids to emulate.

And Edward is actually the main character of the first book, which tells me that until the publisher stepped in, he might very well have been the focus of the series.  Instead, he gets sent off to some other station somewhere along the line, to be reduced mostly to cameos in other trains' stories (although he does eventually get a book to himself), while Thomas gets his very own branch line to run, and many other stories of his own.

True to the real world, I suppose, but not really the message I want my kids getting.

The other particularly good role model in these books, to me, is Sir Topham Hatt (the Fat Controller).  This is a man who understands what it is to run a business well (which is also remarkably like being a parent at times, given how child-like the trains can be).  He's strict with the trains, expects them to do their best, and will follow through on punishments if necessary, but he also has a sense of humor, and is willing to give second chances once he feels that lessons have been learned. 

He's also willing to do what it takes to give his engines a chance to succeed, and isn't stingy about bringing in replacement engines if someone breaks down, so that the other engines aren't stuck trying to do their own work plus some, while not simply firing the engines while they're broken.  And when the passengers complain, as they inevitably do, he pretty much ignores them because he knows that stuff happens sometimes, and that it wouldn't be productive to punish the engines just to mollify the passengers.

So there's that.  And the books are quite entertaining, which does go a long ways.  But seriously, sometimes you just want to reach into the book and Gibbs-smacking the trains until they start behaving.