An Ode to the Subjunctive

(Okay, on to something a little lighter. I promised fun with grammar (or something like that) in my first post, so here you go.)

O! subjunctive, how I love thee;
Please let me count the ways.
And if I were a poet,
Why, I could rave for days.

('Course, if I were a poet,
Then I would need not cheat
When writing up these stanzas
By mixing up my feet.)

When we first were introduced
It was in Spanish class,
Because my English teachers all
Were giving you a pass.

I admit my first impression of you
Likened you to dung;
I was a callow teenager
And should have held my tongue

I didn't see your purpose
In handling a wish
And other situations
Hypothetical-ish.

Now I'm fully 'wakened to
The possibilities
You give me for grammatical
Superiority.

Because I know to use you
Where others miss the chance,
My grammar nazi credentials
Are pretty fancy-pants.

Your conjugations may not sound right
Ordinarily,
But I don't get too many chances
To say, "If it be"

In conclusion, you are awesome
For making me sound smart,
And though your usage dwindles now
I hope you don't depart.