(I realized the other day that I left a key scenario out of my discussion of getting up to freeway speed. This lack did not go unnoticed by others, so I hereby add it here. I'll try to avoid needing a whole errata section for my blog...)
When changing lanes, match the goddamn speed of the new lane
Oh my God, this pisses me off so much. I cannot count the number of times this has happened to me: I'm driving along, cheerfully minding my own business, passing all the dipshits in the lanes to my right who can't manage to go the speed limit. Suddenly, up ahead, I see one of these slow assholes change lanes into my lane to go around an even slower asshole. No big deal, right? Except this asshole doesn't speed up, he keeps puttering along at the same shitty slow-ass speed he was going in the other lane that was about to get him passed in the first place! And I, innocent in all of this mess, am forced to slam on my brakes so that I don't rear-end this moron who is completely oblivious to the complete clusterfuck he's caused.
Don't do this. Don't you fucking do this. When you change lanes, figure out first how fast the lane is going that you want to move to, and then go that fast, motherfucker! It's like a fucking mini-merge, which you're also probably shitty at! And if you don't have room to speed up because of the even slower dipshit in front of you, then you damn well better step on the goddamn gas once you've changed lanes so that you don't fuck up the people behind you.
Motherfucker.
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